Atlant Security
So when he goes on vacation, your SOC 2 just stalls at the airport.
Founder-led engagements, they promise.
Read Atlant Security’s roastTHE INTERNET KEEPS RECEIPTS.
Previously
roasted.
Big claims. Thin skin. Permanent links.
The company pitches and security careers that met the grill.
The roast archive48 saved roasts
CENTIO
At least the plumber eventually admits he found a second problem.
Pricing's included, nothing extra — said every contractor mid-renovation.
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Wiz
My group chat does that, and it just roasts strangers over typos.
Wiz connects code, cloud, and runtime into one agentic platform.
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Wiz
Slide 47: the graph now wants a badge, a standup slot, and a coffee budget.
Homepage: one agentic platform for code, cloud, and runtime.
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Alexander Sverdlov
They asked the bot if your invoice is the real risk
You open the client call by walking through last quarter's threats like they haven't heard of the internet. Meanwhile they dropped the vendor questionnaire into a chatbot and already have answers that would have taken your intern a week. You still bill for the workshop. Of course you do. That's why they're asking the same bot if your retainer is a vulnerabil
Read Alexander Sverdlov’s roastAlexander Sverdlov
Not the lock, just the keynote
You still introduce yourself like the last human standing between civilization and chaos. Every conversation becomes a TED talk about how only you see the real risk. You treat a calendar full of panels like a bunker. Then AI drafts the same warning in thirty seconds and nobody asks who founded the bunker. You're not the lock. You're the keynote about locks.
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Alexander Sverdlov
Your GRC stack is now a demo-shaped copilot.
Your GRC stack is now a demo-shaped copilot. Map controls across GRC frameworks (Now–6 months): A model ingests NIST/DORA/ISO/SOC2 text and produces crosswalks and gap lists, shrinking manual control-mapping spreadsheets and framework translation work. If: Public frameworks are already in training data; buyers still need a human to certify mappings against t
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Alexander Sverdlov
You will be replaced in 6 months. Venvera is a GRC clone of Vanta with a first-sale discount that screams inventory, not fortress.
You will be replaced in 6 months. Venvera is a GRC clone of Vanta with a first-sale discount that screams inventory, not fortress. Microsoft kept you one year until glass plaques looked more permanent than your consulting badge. Atlant Security sold digital fortresses while you later automated the CISO with a chatbot demo.
Read Alexander Sverdlov’s roastVladimir Petkov
You will be replaced in 6 months. You hit Staff Engineer at VMware. Their bug backlog still outranks your architecture docs.
You will be replaced in 6 months. You hit Staff Engineer at VMware. Their bug backlog still outranks your architecture docs. Broadcom bought VMware and kept you. Even the acquisition algorithm has more impact. Your VMware internship mentor hyped you. Five years later the same tickets still own you.
Read Vladimir Petkov’s roastMilen Strahinski
You will be replaced in 6 months. Atlant Security still sells 190 checkboxes. Notepad already passed that audit.
You will be replaced in 6 months. You built Atlant Security to sell the Windows checklists Claude writes for free. At Venvera your own vCISO platform invoices you while you still click the boxes. Your Microsoft title lasted longer than the cloud rules you scripted before GPT-4.
Read Milen Strahinski’s roastIvan Karkov
You will be replaced in weeks. No public titles or companies surface. Your LinkedIn is a blank CV AI already filled better.
You will be replaced in weeks. No public titles or companies surface. Your LinkedIn is a blank CV AI already filled better. Handle ivan-karkov is the entire footprint. Even scrapers treat you as vaporware. Zero experience listed means the boring half was never there for AI to steal.
Read Ivan Karkov’s roastAlexander Sverdlov
88/100 — GRC Discount Autopilot who automated his own billable hours
Alexander Sverdlov left Microsoft's security consulting team after one year because glass plaques were too depressing, then rebranded the same checkbox grind as Atlant Security and now Venvera—the 'we are cheaper than Vanta/Drata' GRC platform that maps DORA, NIS2, ISO 27001 and TPRM while he DMs first-sale discounts like a Black Friday compliance clearance.
Read Alexander Sverdlov’s roastAI satire, not a product review or a prediction of anyone’s employment. Company jokes riff on public marketing.